Ejaculating Prematurely? Most men across the world go through this phase at some point of time, and usually end up frustrated or preferring a self-job over making love! Are you one of them? Here’s how you can deal with it.
Stop Ejaculating Prematurely – You finally found the girl of your dreams. You find it harder to approach her and of course the hardest part is to go out with her long enough to take her to bed with you. And finally, after so many heart stopping and nail biting moments, you slip into bed with her and prepare yourself to make love like never before. You set up the romantic ambience : intimate dinner at your place, use soft colors and fabrics, fresh cut flowers on your nightstand sprinkle perfume on to light bulb with perfect lighting in order to create a sensual mood for her. Hot and heavy loving with hungry kisses and tender caresses that promise orgasmic bliss for both you and your eager partner, but barely a few minutes into your “perfect lovemaking”, everything was over and your manhood goes limp!
You got up quickly, feeling blue, to take a shower, when in fact that was just an excuse to hide your embarrassment. You promised you would do better next time. But it just never happens!! If this happen as being first timers is understandable, but when it happens every time, then it becomes problematic. Not just to you but also to your partner who expects that both of you come to orgasm at about the same time during the sexual act.
Well, you’re not alone in this too-quick-for-her-climax intercourse. The “average” man makes about 50 thrusts before he ejaculates. For most women it takes approximately 10 minutes of active intercourse to reach orgasm. Even the most optimistic lover can see these numbers just don’t add up! But don’t roll over and nod off yet, there are some simple things you can do to bring your partner and you much closer together.
Physically the arousal rates of men and women vary widely, but for the most part women become fully turned on much slower than men. So a great way to make sure you’re both happy with your love life is to include lots of foreplay. Help her reach orgasm with your fingers, tongue, lips before you even start to have intercourse.
Most men experience first sex during teen-hood through furtive masturbation, a quick release in the bathroom or under the bed cover before someone can see what’s going on. Then onto early sexual experiences with a girlfriend in back seats of cars or in a basement, again always in a hurry, before she changes her mind or before her parents found out.
Now when it come to real sex with your life partner, he’s not going to slow down just because you tell him to. That’s like asking a guy who’s trained as a sprint champ to bring home a gold in the 5000 meter instead. He may well be able to make the shift but he’s going to need coaching. You can train him with your mind, your muscles and your breath or a combination of all three. Your loving partner can assist in this practice, after all it’s for her benefit as well!
Be aware of your own levels of arousal
Take your time and give yourself a very real self-loving exploration, not just a quick masturbatory release. Notice how your penis moves through distinct changes before orgasm and ejaculation, he’s not just soft and then hard and spewing. There are four defined stages of erection: lengthening and filling; swelling; full erection; rigid erection. The fourth stage, rigid erection, characterized by a penis that’s very stiff (a boner) and very hot, signifies ejaculation is close at hand. Through attentive self-arousal and the playful hands of your sweetheart you can learn how to stay for longer periods of time in the exciting, but less explosive, third stage of firm erection. When you feel yourself moving into the hard, hot level stop stimulation, relax and pay attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply.
The Power of Breath
Conscious breathing is a key for extended lovemaking. Slow, controlled breathing, way down into your belly, calms you and helps delay ejaculation. Holding your breath while having sex, more than anything else, is essentially guaranteed to make you ejaculate prematurely. We tend to tense up and get overly excited, then we “forget” to breathe normally. Focusing on your breath takes your attention away from your genitals. Synchronizing your breathing rhythm with your partner’s strengthens your connection with each other. Adding sound to your breathing can also help you ride the edge of pleasure. As you exhale send out a deep lion roar. Feel the sound come from your scrotum, up through your belly and lungs and out your mouth as a powerful release of the orgasmic tension building inside you.
Penis Tip Squeeze
Squeezing your penis just below the head or glans can help to stop oncoming ejaculation. It necessitates withdrawing completely from your partner during intercourse, but is an excellent way to begin practice on your own with masturbation.
During intercourse, try the stop-and-start technique when the sensations become strong. When you’re more confident, try changing positions rather than stopping. Some men last much longer when their partner is on top.
Ejaculation-free orgasm. One important thing to understand is that the problem really is ejaculation, not orgasm. When you feel you are just about to ejaculate, stop moving (your partner must stop, too) and contract the PC muscle very firmly during 10 to 20 seconds. It is easier to delay ejaculation by focusing on moving your sex energy through your body rather than focusing on not ejaculating. Stopping movement, relaxing a little and breathing deeply and slowly will all aid with this practice. You can then resume love-making. For this to work, your PC muscle must be strong enough.
Practicing squeezing your PC muscles will enable you to gradually become so familiar with your genitals, that you will be able to discern each separate muscle group and contract/relax them at will. At first you will tighten your genitals and everything will contract at once. Later you will be able to contract your anal muscles without moving your penis or scrotum, or pull up your scrotum while your anus and penis remain relaxed, or bob your penis up and down while nothing else moves. Eventually just a thought will relax everything, especially your smooth genital muscles, sending your hot sexual energy shooting through your body, not out the end of your penis, but instead into your partner through eye contact, intercourse, or touching.
The magical key to opening the doorway into multiple whole body orgasms is relaxation of your smooth muscles, no matter how aroused, excited, or turned on you are.
Train your mind to think of something other than ejaculation. Thinking “I don’t want to ejaculate” is still thinking about ejaculation. You must have something else to focus your attention. We don’t recommend reciting sports stats or in any way diverting your attention from lovemaking. It is essential that you be fully present from moment to moment. But instead of thinking about ejaculation, or worrying about ejaculating too quickly, we suggest you think about pleasing your partner. Learn to take pleasure for yourself in the pleasing of your partner. Notice how she reacts when your tongue is exploring around her clitoris, but also notice how her clitoris feels on your tongue. Notice how she enjoys when you suck on her nipples, but also notice how her breasts feel pressed against your face. Notice how she moans when you gently run your fingers up the inside of her thighs, but also notice how her skin feels so soft and warm against your fingers.
How To Stop Ejaculating Prematurely? With your attention fully engaged on your partner, your breath and your genital muscles, you are definitely going to longer lasting in bed. As your lovemaking goes on, and on, and on… perhaps for hours, the energy within you and between you and your lover will accumulate to such an intense level that you may spontaneously experience of ecstasy, bliss, joy, and wonder. This is where mastery of ejaculation can lead you and your satisfied partner.
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